Through traumatic experience Yoga inspires

Charlotte’s first year of university was supposed to be the beginning of a new and exciting chapter in her life. Little did she know it would soon present her with one of the most traumatic experiences she has had to face so far.

That was the year Charlotte felt her heart had been ripped out of her chest, both figuratively and literally. But it also paved the way for a transformation that would change her life for the better, and she would love to share how that came to be.

The year started off as planned. Charlotte had earned the grades required to be accepted into James Cook University, where she was going to follow in her father’s footsteps and study veterinary science.

So, Charlotte packed up her life, said goodbye to her family home in Sydney, and moved up north, to Townsville, Queensland.

But then, two months into her degree, Charlotte received a call that changed her life forever.

Her father had been the victim of a hit-and-run. The doctors said he died instantly.

He was only 46.

Charlotte was heartbroken, and probably still in shock when she decided to return to her studies straight after the funeral.

She used her studies to distract her. Charlotte wanted to make her father proud.

But, about five months later, the panic attacks started.

At first, Charlotte had no idea what was happening. She would be seemingly fine one minute, then her heart would start pounding in her chest, and she felt as though her lungs were being compressed. She was convinced she was going to die.

If you have never experienced a panic attack before, Charlotte can confirm that they are terrifying!

Yet once it passed, she felt silly, as though she had overreacted over nothing.

But then they started happening often. Sometimes more than once a day. Always unexpectedly, and with no apparent cause.

They were so debilitating; Charlotte began feeling anxious all the time, worrying about when it might happen next.

She started avoiding social events and skipping lectures. Her grades began to slip, and the stress mounted up, which only made it worse.

Charlotte lay awake at nights, anxiously worried that she was failing at life, and failing her dad.

After seeing a psychologist, Charlotte decided to defer her studies for a year and go home.

She organised to meet with a grief counsellor, who helped her work through things she didn’t even realise she had been holding onto. The counsellor suggested she try a specific yoga studio, that had a teacher who had a lot of experience with students managing grief.

So, Charlotte booked herself in for a set of ten classes — one of the best decisions she had ever made.

The instructor, named Jai, welcomed her with a warm smile. She quietly told him why she was there, and he was very supportive.

He suggested Charlotte set aside any expectations and try to be open to the experience the class had to offer, but that she was free to step away at any time, or to indicate to him if she needed help.

Charlotte confessed she was a little apprehensive to begin with, but as she started to stretch and bend, breathing into each posture, her thoughts cleared, and she felt present and relaxed. She felt amazing engaging her body, allowing her breath to help and guide her.

Jai and Charlotte practiced ‘Nadi Shodhana’, a breathing practice, using alternate nostril breathing. She thought it was funny, at first, but soon felt a wave of calm wash over her that she hadn’t experienced before.

By the end of the class, Charlotte felt both limber and energised. Leaving her feeling relaxed, yet focused and present.

Charlotte remembers thinking, “huh, so this is what all the fuss is about?”

One class a week quickly became two, then three, and in the following months, Jai got her into a course so she could learn more about yoga, and eventually go on to teach classes herself.

Charlotte cannot claim that yoga cured her anxiety or panic attacks, but it certainly helped her manage them and understand them. Now, with regular counselling and her daily yoga practice, she is feeling much more like herself again.

Charlotte has been back in Townsville for just over one year now, and though the workload can still be a bit stressful, she knows she can manage.

One of the best things that came from this experience is Charlotte now volunteers weekly yoga classes for other students, and the feedback she is getting makes it so worthwhile.

Charlotte still misses her dad every day. But she knows if he could see her now, and how much yoga has helped her transform her life, he would be so proud of her, and he would encourage Charlotte to continue sharing it with others.

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Photo by William Farlow on Unsplash